And so it Begins…

Hebrews 10:22-25 (NIV)

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…

Hi, sweet friend, I am Leanna – a daughter of the King, mother, wife, and nurse.  I have no idea what I am doing, but I feel like God wants to use me to share His love with you.

Have you ever been in a place where you felt like you had no idea what the purpose of your life was?  Have you have ever took a step back, and said wow, how did I get here? Have you felt immovable, paralyzed, like you had all these ideas and dreams, but had no idea how you were going to attain the life that you envisioned when you were a little girl? Insert girl with the raising hand emoji here! I sure have.

I am just coming out of that place, to be honest.  I have felt stuck in a rut over the past few years.  I feel like I am on the brinks of something, but let me tell you about how the mud started to clear.

My older brother, Chris, lives in Georgia, and he and his wife just had their third child.  I had to go meet her, of course, give her some auntie love.  So, I drove down to Georgia, leaving my two boys behind.  I could only stay a couple of nights, so I had to use my time wisely.  Chris and I have a relationship where we don’t talk much, except when we are face to face – then, ya’ll…we can talk! I mean talk until the wee hours of the morning.  We both know that we must spend quality time with the time we have together.

So, Chris and I are talking one night on the back porch, he is telling me about where he is in life – with his job, goals, family, etc. He continues to share how he has come to a point where he wants to make the most of his life.  This is probably a common goal for any of us, but how often do we just sit on the sidelines waiting for the right feeling, or waiting until we are ready, or feel qualified to take charge (I hope I’m not the only one that has been waiting for all of that)?

Chris shares with me how he has learned that he must be intentional with his time.  So, we all have 24 hours in a day, right? We are in charge of how we spend our time.  This sparked something in me.  As he is sharing his goals, and the things he is doing with his time, this made me take a step back.  This made me think about how I have been spending my time.  I have been wishing, hoping, dreaming, and waiting.  I have not taken charge of my time, and creating the life that I assumed was going to magically happen.

My prayer right now, is that this may spark something in you as well.  My prayer is that these words that I’m sitting here typing at my dining room table, covered in craft supplies, books, and papers, that they are connecting with you.  Friend, I want to connect with you.  I know that our lives can become so busy, that we forget about the true connection we desire.

So, I am driving my 7 hour drive home from Georgia, and the thought comes to me.  How could I better spend my time? I am sitting here in the car for 7 hours, just staring at cars and scenery, listening to whatever music is on the radio.  Then! Then I remember the conversation I had with Chris.  Podcasts! So, I’m driving – I don’t recommend looking up podcasts while you are, cause obviously I shouldn’t have been doing that – but nonetheless, I find some different podcasts that interest me.  I decided that I could be listening to something that is actually going to teach me something instead of just wasting 7 hours jamming to the radio.

And so it begins… I start listening to podcasts on leadership, and self-awareness, and the Elevation Church podcast of different Pastors preaching.  I start to realize how much more productive my time is when I am doing something that is teaching me, and helping me with the steps toward the life I desire.

I decided that, like my brother, I would start to be intentional with my time.  I purchased a new book. I decided I wanted to read more, learn more, use the tools that are around us to help us become.  Become what?? I don’t know that just yet (anyone else?), but what I do know is this, we are given this life – just this one.  Take charge! Be intentional.  Intentionally connect with those around you. Intentionally learn something new.  Don’t wait for the moment that you feel motivated, or the moment that you feel ready. I’m not sure that day will every come.  There are always going to be fears or busyness holding you back.

How? Leanna, how do I even begin? Where do I start? Well, we are all different, so my question to you would be – what are you passionate about? What is something that intrigues you? Who is someone that you look up to that you want to learn more about? What is important to you – examples would be: education, your family, your children, politics, connecting with women, loving on children, your faith, photography, art – the options are endless. Start there.  Start with picking up a book, or listening to a podcast on that topic, and see where it takes you.

So, this is my first step.  This is me putting myself out there, taking a plunge – seeing what happens.  Something I am passionate about is loving on broken people – particularly women of all ages and children.  Yes, that’s broad, I know.

I think that it is very important to become self-aware.  I think that this deserves some of our time each day.  Write down some goals, fears, desires you have. Also, take some time to figure out what has brought you to where you are right now.  What life decisions have really impacted you to bring you the place you are right this moment?  What has hurt you in the past, to shape how you react to certain instances in your life right now? Get out a piece of paper and a pen, and just go to town.  Let yourself get into the crevices of your heart, and bring the wounds to the surface so that you can start to heal.

Dealing with the past – the hurts, the feelings of abandonment, insecurity, poor decisions – can really help you become! Allow yourself some time to sit.  To sit and think, to take your memory back to those painful moments.  Allow yourself the courtesy of dealing with those hard things.  Ask God to show you, remind you, of what it is that happened in the past that has shaped you today.  I assure you, friend, if you approach God with a sincere heart, that He is there waiting to heal you from the inside out.

That’s all I have to share for now, but, I want you to know that I would love to hear from you – connect with you, share more of my heart on the topics aforementioned. I am praying for you – each of you that may read the words on this page – I pray that God uses them to spark something inside of you.  That we can be vulnerable together, so that we can jump into the life that God has for us.


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